Recently, I joined a Step Study at Celebrate Recovery. In CR, they have a process called “open share”. In these gender specific groups, individuals share their hurts, habits and hang ups. They have the opportunity to pour their hearts out and put it All out there. No judgment or condemnation is reciprocated. Only mercy, love and understanding. No one is alone. All have fallen and come short of His glory.
At first, when I went to the open shares I would be angry when I left and didn’t understand why?
When I share I am brutally honest. That is what some have told me. The caveat is I didn’t realize I embarrass myself. What is happening is the self-image that I have carried and created over the years is being confronted and I don’t like it. I believe this image is false humility, religion, hypocrisy at times and pride. It is the image I am comfortable with. I have labeled it me as a Christian even. Not good. In these open shares, real intimacy is experienced. This freaks me out. It means they will know me. Christ told Jeremiah, “I Knew you before you were in your mother’s womb.” Paul says, “That I might know Him.” He also says, “I know Whom I have believed.” Something happens when my relationship with God goes from managing an image, dead works, religion, to a Person to person relationship. Paul speaks of the fellowship of the mystery, fellowship with the Spirit and the fellowship of His sufferings. John says to make their joy complete to have fellowship with the Father, His Son and with us (the Church).
James says the word is like a mirror. Paul says, “That God might reveal His Son in me.” I believe knowing Him is knowing me. Colossians says our lives are hid in Christ.
I have seen a vague image of myself lately that I carry. It is heavy. I believe fear, the past, hurts, hang up, resentments and the like attach to this thing through the heart. Paul says, “We have the true circumcision. That is of the heart not made by human hands, but by the Spirit of the living God.” Paul says, “Who shall separate me from the body of this death? Thanks be to God for Christ Jesus our Lord!” Galatians say, “Be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”
In Him, we have redemption and have been bought back because we were originally His. In Him, He has set me free through His Body and Blood, in His forgiveness. I have head-knowledge and am praying for heart knowledge. Jesus sets me free from me. A brother told me, “What I (him) need to do is get our of God’s way.” Very true. His love, truth, grace and revelation of Him and His glory pushes me out of me into the real and true me. This true me is at rest and peace. He does not strive to be, but just is because Christ IS. He said, “I am that I am.”
When I manage an image I am not being. I am striving to manage in the hopes of not failing to justify myself before me towards God when in reality I am the righteousness of God apart from anything I could ever accomplished. Paul had a lot of image management that he considered dung that He might have the excellency of knowing Him more and more in this life and the life to come.
Father, I pray separate, sanctify, renew and change me into Your Son’s image to give you glory. You are worthy Lord. Thank you for worthying me into the Kingdom of Your dearly loved Son. Open the eyes of my understanding and heart. Thank you Father.
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